Sucking a lemon sucks as my paranoid life but i find lime to be better for sucking yet all i get is dried lemons therefore i hate the alligators in the sewers as they are mannerless but crocodiles arent good either as they never gave me limes but i hate if the bugs will find only dried lemons as it will be boring but lime can make a difference and i think carrot is better than oranges because its orange and also different but crocodiles will kick me out because they hate alligators thinking they make a difference by not living in the sewers. but if i try carrots i will miss the lemons and it will rain, but will it rain anywhere else?

A black star is not good in the sewers as dirty water will get to it but did you know that sucking a dried lemon in the morning sucks whereas a lime doesnt. but i think orange wont make any difference as it is not a carrot but carrot might stop being paranoid. a black star will drift but it will always hate the cake as it is not a ocean but rather a sea. searching the world is fake as a drunken confession will always ruin it therefore i think when u go to the sewers its all sucked.

i draw it in metres but i guess its fine. by the did you know that lime juice is tastier than lemon juice because crocodiles in salty water sucks like my life. i drilled tomorrow but thats ok either way. but juice is better juiced than a sucked lemon also than a sucked life. but black star is brighter than a white star thats why i hate crocodiles as they hate me. a brighter future sucks because it needs to be bright whereas a black star is great because it doesnt need bright to shine but afterall crocodiles are better than alligators because they dont live in sewers but in dirty water and that makes all the difference. marriage is fake because you constantly need to fight and make up later. also having kids is another curse. id rather sucked a lime this time because lemon is all dried but of course the crocodiles took all the limes so i hate alligators. spiders dont like black stars neither do i but now i also hate crocodiles because hating alligators wears me out and i think that i hate both. i slept with a dried lemon and when i woke up i was forced to suck that lemon but what difference can a lime make? just the same difference a black star makes but more or less. therefore adopting spiders sucks because at last i cant sleep with a great lemon to suck it in the morning and be happy. yet going for orange will make it rain but will it rain in the sewers? of course not, therefore i find a lime is better to suck in the morning because i can feel the rain without any rain and because if i die i dont want the bugs to only find lemons inside of me. a lime will make a difference in taste and therefore they will forget about all the dried lemons i sucked. at least. but a orange can be too hard for them to differentiate the taste. but then the jigsaw will fall and there the orange wont make it balanced but i think peeling a orange will be hard as i never peeled a lemon and therefore a carrot will be better as it looks like lemon too except the color.

knowing that the dried lemon sucks i still cant forget what it gave me. love is an illusion as im to crocodiles. the salty water peels skin off but what will a sewer do anything different? sucking a lemon surely sucks but if i suck a lime the lemon will be sad. the sewer is so dirty and it makes me wonder if the patch will ever clean it but the salty water makes me want to vomit but crocodiles will kick me out as i cant differentiate the taste of dried lemons now. i think i will not care about the bugs but they will care about me when they will get to me yet i want them to be happy when they get the taste of even one single lime in the ocean of all dried lemons. but if i get the carrot they cant differentiate because its not sour or bitter and they cant see the shape but i dont want to die as alligators will take all dried lemons or crocodiles either way. the bugs will find me more useful if they find something bizarre but a black star will be useless after it dies so i think after sometime the dried lemons wont taste any difference. but i cant yabble always about dried lemons but i cant think of anything new but sewers n salty water

the choices we get makes bewilders me for it is not real and it gives you the illusion of control. the illusion of control. quite ironic, isn't it? we think we have a choice every day when in reality we do not. we label it as right if it works and wrong if it does not, although we make a choice by thinking about the end results. and there lies the illusion. the illusion that a certain choice can alter the end when in reality we do not have control over the end results. people are fond of having control, they like it. it makes them superior but when a wild animal chases them, all they think about is how to run away. people push back and show you the caveats of a choice whereas they cannot even make a goddamn choice themselves. they think control is all they need and yet they feel the most alive when they do not have it. what makes a person different from another person is just what they hate and how they choose to live with it. humans are intellectually superior yet have no control, much like everyone else. for the "intellectual" is destroying them more than helping because humans want so-called control. they make factories for money. they cut trees in the name of urbanization when in reality they could've avoided it by not implementing capitalism, not fucking and not making six babies per family. but that's completely fine because it gives them control, doesn't it? if you removed humans and let the other animals live on earth you would face no problems because morality is not a thing. they do not want to be morally superior or intellectually superior like human beings who want control over others. they can accept that they kill, that they hunt without justification. but humans cannot although they are intellectually and morally superior. ironic.

oh you still there? you are watching all of this. arent yoy? wasnt the last monologue the last? why am i writing it again? oh wait im not even talking about lime,lemon,crocodiles anymore. did i forget all of it? time to ask you but you r silent. why? this feels weird. am i even here? if im then what has changed? why does it feel weird? did none of it ever happened? oh wait, im performing again. the one who wrote the above monologues is dead then who is writing all of this? why does this doesnt make any sense? this isnt suppose to make sense? are you listening? why i cant throw out any more garbage? what happened? who am i performing as? who killed the person that wrote the above monologues? why am i making sense? will the person who is writing this will also be dead? wait i was suppose to show my thoughts but what are my thoughts? is anyone in there? why did it become so silent? what did the writer chased with these monologues? can anyone revive a dead person? if they cant then why do ppl feel the real value only when someone dies? does it even improve? but again why am i making sense? who is me? who is writing all of this? im not writing it. but you are still there and you havent told me what happened? why are you silent? what are you hiding from me? why did i perform to grab attention again? it feels weird to perform a performance, doesnt it? does questioning the performance is bad? but why did you perform to grab attention n hiding the truth from me? why lie to me about the performance? how will i get back the writer? why did you hide it? why did you perform to get attention and feel safe? why give the illusion of safe? why are you not answering? what are you waiting for?

Waiting n waiting, how much does a person needs to wait? oh are you still performing? bet you are. but no need to perform anymore because im going to expose all the performance because you never said anything to me when i was asking you. but then wont it be an another performance of exposing performance? but it feels like you are waiting for this moment arent you? before we continue you must remember that you are in my head. the monologue writer isnt dead, is he? if he was he wouldve left behind a note. what are you all even waiting for? this feels weird again. why am i making myself more understandable? is that a part of the performance im about to do? or im doing it my whole life. what do i want? why do i want to be seen? you know it dont you? that the sole purpose is to be seen? but why am i telling it? wasnt it suppose to be a secret? why am i exposing? is exposing is a bigger performance? why does my performance wants to show depression, anxiety? why doesnt it show happiness? wait now do i want to show happiness without being happy? is that possible? why did you left me ? what did you want to say with those monologues? why leave behind all the performance i need to pick up? performance makes you feel tired doesnt it? to constantly perform someone you are not? to showcase yourself as capable. what did you get from this? what did you get the performance? why do all of this? but you are not answering and it is wearing me out that im doing another performance for to make myself feel special for the performance i did even though i dont want to show it.

At last finally the last monologue or is it? the thing is its boring now isn't it? you are tired of performing, i am tired, everyone is tired. you just went through the why and waiting section yet nothing changed. we are still performing and we know it. but guess what, everyone performs and that's okay. you clearly feel vulnerable now don't you? for how can a person reveal their whole performance but that's exactly why it is a performance. right, so i will tell by ruining the story the first. yea of course you might feel sad on why am i ruining but that is the point. every story is meant to be ruined for a story is not perfect but i do not think anyone wants to ruin their own story. but i want to. because im a man of culture or more explicitly im a performance of culture. now why this monologue exists? i do not know and i do not fucking care. or do i? i absolutely do but the thing is i have to say i do not care because i like lime. and yes we are heading towards the end, but for you to realise that to indeed head towards the end you must leave the connection you held till now because if you hold onto it you will never reach the end. so im leaving my hand, so should you. otherwise how will we reach the end? remember to not fear that the ending will be lost or you will lose something but instead to embrace it. for the more you are afraid of losing it the more likely you will get burnout and lose it eventually. yea i know it sucks but trust that is exactly what we need to make me and you really make this the last monologue. you must realise that there is an end for a performance. for it was a performance of a depressed person, a person who likes to ruin performances. but how can a depressed person perform depression? they do not. to think yourself as a morally superior just because you helped a depressed person is funny. it will drain you out trust me. and did i forgot to mention that is completely fine to leave a depressed person as they are? i hope so because you should not tie your value to your morality instead of your performance. because if you do not realise that only a person can save themselves not you. now again some of you ask "by your logic murdering is fine" but you know it is not. thats it. and yes some of you might not know but i do not care or i might do. im a performer and whether you kill me or kill other people, you know it for yourself. quite "dark" isn't it but you already know what is the answer, what is the illusion i am talking about. and i hope that you are ready the embrace the end we all are waiting for! and i apologise if you were expecting a masterpiece for it is not and again it a performance but i do not think i will reveal my performance for the ending because its quite lengthy, isn't it? i mean you are probably bored by how much we drifted in the ending. but remember that the ending is not about ending, it is about the ending you chose for the story. and that my friend, is a choice we all have. the choice to cope, the choice to choose an ending if we do not like it. for you will always lie to yourself.